time flies time dies
by TheShadierTwin
Summary: Xander is mad.  Spike is bad.  The future is dangerous to know.  Sequel to "love me leave me"


He's never going to get better, you know.

Hey, quit it! You think I'd be dumb enough to tell you where you could actually hurt me? Sheesh, as if.

I never wanted this to happen to him. I mean, it had to happen to somebody, and from the Slayer's friends, it pretty much had to happen to him, especially after you two shacked up. But I kind of hoped it would happen to somebody else. Somebody I didn't know.

It started back when Balance birthed her Children. Four of them, of course - Light, Dark, Order and Chaos, and they brought life into living colour. But siblings have their rivalries, and the Children chose Champions. They would have ended everything, you know, one way or another. They didn't know when to stop. So Balance said she would claim a champion and a seer, and make a few prophecies, just like her Children. Trouble is, by then, all of the champions were claimed - but who can say no to their mom? So the Children picked one of the Champions who was close to the middle of the board, and gave him a push. That's why Xander Harris was caught out in traffic past sundown that night, and why Angelus got a witch to give him visions, and why you couldn't get him back until he was completely, irrevocably insane.

This is a dream, and you ain't no Freddy Krueger. Cut it out.

Look, I'm not really here to tell you why. I just... wanted somebody to know it isn't for nothing. He was a good kid. One of the strong ones - it took a lot for him to break. He wasn't a Champion, he just did what he did because he couldn't close his eyes once they were opened, you know? Anyway, Balance sent me here to give you a gift and a warning.

Cigarette? Can't hurt him in here.

Suit yourself.

The gift is a claim spell. It'll let you keep him for the rest of your life. He'll live as long as you do, no matter how he tries to end it, and he'll die when you pass on. There'll be a new Champion and Seer by that point, always is, so you'll get your rest. I'm teaching it to the Red Witch as we speak, so it'll be somebody he trusts tying him to you. And it won't hurt him - might sting a bit for you.

The warning is if you don't use it. She won't let the kid die before you do, and if you don't do it this way, she'll do it another. Chaos brought one of his gods through, once, and Order never did – he's offered to let it gestate inside your boy's head to keep him alive until your death - might have to drive him a bit crazier to counteract it. Dark's got a few vampires willing to turn him and toss him. Or she could just make it impossible for him to die, for the rest of time - she doesn't like extremes, but she's not above using them.

She'll let you think it through, talk it over. You'll have a day to decide.

You've been crying in your sleep, and it's scaring the boy. It's time to wake up now.

We can't stay here anymore. Xander's been seeing death creeping in at the edges here, and if I have to kill a slayer, it can't be a slayer I know. I don't think I'd be able to bear it.

We did alright for a while, after my dream. Well, not right after. I didn't want to do it, you remember? I didn't want to make him live out my lifetime as a mad cripple - he deserves his rest. Willow tried to argue me into it, said nothing else could give Xander a chance at happiness. I'd seen the spell, though. I knew what it would do to Xan. He'd be frozen like that forever, until I died - he'd never be allowed to heal.

'Course Xander thought my reluctance meant I didn't want him anymore. Damn me, but I couldn't let him think that.

So we did it, and now he's stuck like this forever, until we both die. Seer and Champion of the Balance, us. And now the Balance is shifting.

We'll miss it here. Well, I know I will. He might not remember it. He doesn't seem to remember much before Angelus. He doesn't even seem to remember who Buffy and Willow are - just calls Red "The Mother" and Buffy "The Goddess".

I think he can see who The Slayer is. He used to call Faith a Goddess, too, and then the night she died he put that title on Leslie.

Look, we won't go hunting Slayers. We don't go hunting anyone, anymore, usually. We're for Balance. If you go upsetting the Balance, I can't say we won't hit back. But-

I don't want to go. You lot are decent enough to me and you're good to Xander, gettin' him his Twinkies, leavin' the lights off in his room, stitchin' up Tor when he has a fit and tears him. And that's why I'm warning you, instead of just going. But we always knew we'd have to leave someday.

Xan's never been to any of the states other than California, did you know? And he always talked about going to Australia, after the eye, before everything else. Or maybe we'll just bum around Europe for a while. Always something to do in Europe.

We might come back. Probably won't. We'll try to call on your birthday or something.

Don't worry about us. We'll be alright.

We- I can take care of us. I did it before, when it was Dru and me. I can do it again. We've got his inheritance from his folks and that bit the Watcher left him. Might remember a place or two Angelus stashed some dosh, maybe it's still there. If not, I can get a job.

Don't look at me like that. I'm perfectly capable of holding down a nine-to-five. Well, five-to-nine, maybe. Sunlight, and all.

I suppose I'll have to, sooner or later. Xander's pain pills don't come cheap. He'll never change, never heal, and I can tell his back hurts when it rains.

Don't cry, Bit. We'll make do.


End file.
